Fuck Christmas & HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS- A VERY Bitter Playlist

Oh Boy – Christmas is upon us. It actually has been lingering since Aug in the stores but I am the type to bury my head in the sand. Bah FUCKING Humbug.

Bittersweet Susie | A very BITTER Christmas Playlist

I like giving and wrapping gifts but beyond that I am entirely not interested. This year especially I have tried to skip it. Wanna skip it next year and go somewhere tropical? Anyone? This year I have managed to not set foot in a single store to holiday shop (my mail and UPS man have been BUSY). I have so far not baked a single cookie. I have wrapped all my presents in hot pink and black. I PROTEST THE CHRISTMAS but I have watched all the classic Christmas movies and specials (because they are AWESOME). Maybe there is hope for me yet!

So in Bittersweet Susie fashion – I have made you a playlist. And I know some of you thought I forgot, NEVER! Here are some Christmas songs I will tolerate (to a point) and I hope it finds you and your obligatory family gathering well. I also hope it keeps you from blowing a hole in your head after you hear Rockin Around the Christmas Tree for the 10th time that day because here at Bittersweet we care. PS: I have never seen anyone ROCK around a Christmas tree just for the record.

This is a more BITTER version of Christmas – but you can still totally play it during family dinner! I am sneaky like that.

 A Very Bitter Christmas – 2013 (click link to go to playlist)

  1. Porter Wagoner – Happy Birthday Jesus
  2. Count Basie Orchestra – Good Morning Blues
  3. Louis Armstrong – Cool Yule
  4. Ray McKinley & His Musicians – Red Silk Stockings and Green Perfume
  5. The Mexicali Brass – Winter Carnival
  6. The McGuire Sisters – Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town
  7. Ray Rasch – Sugar Plum Cha Cha
  8. Otis Redding – Merry Christmas, Baby
  9. Sugar Chile Robinson – Christmas Boogie
  10. Cecil Gant – Hello, Santa Claus
  11. Bobby Darin – Poor Little Jesus
  12. Floyd Dixon – Empty Stocking Blues
  13. Kim Weston – Wish You a Merry Christmas
  14. Bobby Nunn – Cool, Cool Christmas
  15. Django Reinhardt – Christmas Swing
  16. Jimmy Butler – Trim Your Tree
  17. Jimmy Witherspoon – How I Hate to See Christmas Come Around (Christmas Blues)
  18. Louis Prima And His New Orleans Gang – What Will Santa Claus Say? (When He Finds Everybody Swingin’)
  19. Buster Bailey – Santa Claus Blues
  20. Santo & Johnny – Twistin’ Bells
  21. Ray Charles – The Snow Is Falling
  22. Mabel Scott – Boogie Woogie Santa Claus
  23. Fats Waller & His Rhythm – Swingin’ Them Jingle Bells
  24. Elvis Presley – Blue Christmas
  25. The Mills Brothers – You Don’t Have to Be a Santa Claus
  26. Johnny Cash – Christmas Time’s A-Comin’
  27. Clyde McPhatter – White Christmas
  28. Eddy Arnold – C-H-R-I-S-T-M-a-S
  29. Loretta Lynn – Christmas Without Daddy
  30. Billie Holiday – I’ve Got My Love to Keep You Warm
  31. Dean Martin – A Marshmallow World
  32. Glenn Miller – Jingle Bells
  33. Kay Starr – December
  34. Perry Como – Home For The Holidays
  35. Vince Guaraldi Trio – O Tannenbaum
  36. Mel Torme – What Are You Doing New Years Eve?
  37. Bill Haley – I Din’t Want To Be Alone This Christmas
  38. Carla Thomas – Gee Whiz, Its Christmas
  39. Little Mindy Mince – The North Pole Rock & Roll
  40. Marlene Paula – I Want to Spend Christmas With Elvis
  41. Peggy Lee – Winter Weather
  42. John Denver – Please, Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas)
  43. Merle Haggard – If We Make It Through December
  44. Chuck Berry – Run Rudolph Run
  45. The Moonglows – Hey Santa Claus
  46. The Kinks – Father Christmas
  47. Pearl Bailey – A Five Pound Box Of Money
  48. Artie Shaw – There Is Frost On The Moon
  49. Frank Sinatra – The Christmas Waltz – 1999 – Remaster
  50. Buck Owens & Susan Raye – Christmas Ain’t Christmas Dear Without You (feat. Buck Owens & Susan Raye)
  51. Johnny Mercer & The Pied Pipers – Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town – 2004 – Remastered
  52. “Tennessee” Ernie Ford – A rootin’ tootin’ Santa Claus
  53. Bill Anderson – ‘Po Folks Christmas
  54. Little Willie John – Mommy What Happened to Our Christmas Tree
  55. Leroy Carr – Christmas in Jail
  56. Ben Harper – I’m In I’m Out And I’m Gone
  57. Loretta Lynn – It Won’t Seem Like Christmas
  58. The Andrews Sisters – Christmas Island
  59. Lighnin’ Hopkins – Happy New Year
  60. Orson Welles – Christmas Greeting

Woooowee That is a long playlist! I am POSITIVE it will get you through your party and BEYOND.

Who’s Birthday is it!?!? THIS GUY

Bittersweet Susie | A very BITTER Christmas Playlist

This is a Jesus I have hanging on my wall and is the PRIZE of my thrift store Jesus collection. If anyone has a VELVET JESUS painting They are willing to part with just give me a holler.

What I learned while listening to this playlist:

  • There are just as many songs about being BLUE on Christmas as the bright, cheery, stab me with a fork numbers.
  • I wish there were WAY more songs about Jesus’ Birthday – cause FUNNY- No matter how historically inaccurate the time of year we are celebrating. Maybe there needs to be a Jesus Rockin with Santa Number? Mayyybe not.
  • I really hate Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree – and I have found too too many covers of that wretched tune.
  • Sometimes digital is ok and almost awesome because this would never fit on a tape.
  • My Thanksgiving Playlists will also work for Christmas – feel free to check those out.

Bittersweet Susie | A very BITTER Christmas Playlist

This was a photo I found in one of my mom’s albums. A couple observations about this little photo:

It was marked 1971 or 72 and I forgot to write it down. That bird artwork on the wall was made by my MOTHER and it is all hand embroidered (we still have it). The little patterned stool on the bottom left of photo is a piece my DAD embroidered and built.

We have crafty coming out of our BUTTS folks.

Maybe they knew their daughter was going to make THIS one day:

Bittersweet Susie | Christmas

I bet you can feel their pride oozing from you screen – PATTERNS COMING SOON!

There was also sweet paneling in the living room that I never got to see (I was born a WHILE later/TOO DAMN LATE) There appears to be a record player ON TOP of the built in stereo cabinet – that also has a record player inside. This makes me think my whole childhood is a lie because I was told the AWESOME STEREO worked once upon a time. LIES! And finally – I asked if we could get a real mini tree this year in addition to the perfect Martha Plastic number my mom puts up every year. She told me NO. I am using this picture as proof she was once down with the mini tree babies. I will have one next year. Mom – see photo evidence above of awesome mini trees as a request for NEXT christmas. Thank you!

Homework (You don’t get any winter break around here kids)

• Favorite/Least Favorite Christmas songs?

• Childhood Lies you want to confront your parents about?

• What do you collect? What is the PRIZE of that collection?

Thanks for stopping by! I hope everyone has had and continues to have a great Holiday Season!

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You’re So Vain, You Probably Think This Song Is About You – Vol 8

Greetings friends!

How are you. It is getting cooler and I am hibernating. This is mostly because I refuse to purchase a decent pair of pants and my tights are just not cutting it. Sweatpants and pjs though, these I have in abundance.

Here in the VALLEY we have a season called “Wind”. You may scoff and say this is another wimpy LA thing but let me tell you – The wind is fucked and it means BUSINESS.

Jeep hit with tree

This was a nice little surprise yesterday. My superhero parents cut that BASTARD tree into BITS to get off the Zombie Killer. Take that TREE. That car is a bad bitch and we think it only left a little scratch. Today all his tree friends are getting a little adjusting. Revenge is sweet.

Back to business, and back to another You’re So Vain post! It has been too long and I keep finding songs that are all about ME – I mean feature my name.

I need someone to warm me up on this moderately cold California nights,

and I have just the man to do it!

Neil Diamond

Hello there!

Ok you guys – I LOVE ME SOME NEIL DIAMOND. Don’t mock. It is my new dream to see him in concert and sing Cherry Cherry like a spaz. Or better yet go on the ultimate road trip with only his greatest hits to keep me company. A girl can dream.

So imagine my excitement when I found a song with not only my name in it but my mother’s as well. SO FUCKING EXCITED. Until I looked up the lyrics for this post and realize I misheard him, He says MELINDA and not Linda. What the crap is that, Melinda?!? I think maybe he was humming and then saying Linda and everyone else got it WRONG.

Solitary Man

MeLINDA was mine
‘Til the time that I found her
Holding Jim, loving him
Then Sue came along, loved me strong
That’s what I thought
Me and Sue, but that died too

Don’t know that I will
But until I can find me
The girl who’ll stay
And won’t play games behind me
I’ll be what I am
A solitary man, solitary man

I’ve had it to here
Bein’ where love’s a small word
Part-time thing, paper ring
I know it’s been done
Havin’ one girl who’ll love me
Right or wrong, weak or strong

Don’t know that I will
But until I can find me
The girl who’ll stay
And won’t play games behind me
I’ll be what I am
A solitary man, solitary man
(instrumental)
Don’t know that I will
But until I can find me
The girl who’ll stay
And won’t play games behind me
I’ll be what I am
A solitary man
Solitary man

This song speaks to me. So Melinda is a bit of a cheating skunk. Serves her right for being named that and not LINDA. Linda would have crocheted him a warm blanket.

Sue came along and loved him strong, but then she got distracted by something shiny and maybe just stopped texting back. This is totally real life.

The best part is the chorus. He is like eh I am cool being alone until someone awesome comes around. Hopefully they are into yarn and pattern hoarding as much as I AM, I mean as much as Neil sure is. Listen it loud and often if you need a like YAYA I am FINNNNE in your life.  This is a good song for a fuck love mix. Look out for THAT in the future!

This song came out in 1966 and was Mr Diamonds first hit – 1966 was a good year.

It is also the year my parent’s got married. Maybe he changed it from Linda to Melinda because he was jealous. I mean who wouldn’t be:

mom_dad

Their wedding day!

My mom MADE that outfit! (AND DID NOT KEEP IT FOR ME) And holy mother of corsage – that thing is as big as her head!

This song has been covered 6 ways from Sunday, but the BEST one hands down is the Johnny Cash Version. I am never wrong about cover songs friends.

Neil was also on the Johnny Cash Show and it was magical.

And one last Neil gem for today: My mom had this mix tape in her Peugeot – It was one of maybe 4 tapes in the car. I think my brother made it from their records and THIS FUCKING SONG was on it. If I was lucky we would fast forward to the next fast song but most of the time my sister and I would take turns being Babs or Neil AND BELT THIS SUCKER OUT.

(Ps I am the worst signer IN THE UNIVERSE)

But still, fond memories of this…

Thanks for indulging my love for Neil – Come back and see me sometime!

Homework

• What is your FAVORITE Neil Song?

• What did your mom drive in the 80s?

• What songs from your childhood do you have a love/hate relationship with?

• Will you sing the Babs part and I can sing Neil?